The Clapton Chronicles: EC Talks Recovery
If there is a Mount Rushmore for rock guitar, Eric Clapton is on it. He has won 18 Grammy Awards and is the only triple inductee in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. But by far his biggest accomplishment is the fact that he has been sober for nearly 40 years. For not only is Clapton an undisputed Rock luminary, he is also an undisputed alcoholic and drug addict. He bluntly states, “I couldn’t get through a day without altering my consciousness.”
He is the creator of some of the most iconic rock tunes of all time. The riff of “Layla” alone could cement his musical legacy. Remarkably, Clapton continues to write his personal legacy, one that he hopes will have a greater impact than any song he has ever written. Now age 80, the legendary picker knows that he would not still be here had he not wholeheartedly embraced sobriety in 1987. He has been in recovery ever since.
“The greatest thing that I have is being awake from my life and being able to participate. And having no more dark secrets inside which damage me,” says Clapton. “And that I’ve got through staying sober.” In an effort to help others, Eric earnestly relates his lifelong struggle with substance abuse and his daily battle with staying clean. This is Eric Clapton discussing recovery.
“I chose not to remember”
My selective memory of what drinking was like told me that standing at the bar in a pub…was heaven. And I chose not to remember the nights on which I had sat with a bottle of vodka, a gram of coke and a shotgun, contemplating suicide.
“Layla”
Clapton’s 1971 tune “Layla” would go on to become his signature song and a pillar of pop culture. “There were a lot of drugs around the making of ‘Layla’,” Eric says. “You never really get used to having ownership of something that powerful and it still knocks me out every time I play it.”
“I had nothing left”
At that moment, almost of their own accord, my legs gave way and I fell to my knees. In the privacy of my room, I begged for help. I had no notion who I thought I was talking to. I just knew that I had come to the end of my tether, I had nothing left to fight with.
“Some strange, mysterious club”
I thought there was something otherworldly about the whole culture of drinking, that being drunk made me a member of some strange, mysterious club. It wasn’t until I was quite a bit older that I finally did ask for help.
“I’d never asked for help”
Up until the point when I went into treatment, I’d never asked for help from anybody. I would rather not have known the answer than have to ask you for help.
“Fascinating for me”
Treatment was fascinating for me. They deliberately put in your path as many things as they could that required you to ask someone else.
“A spiritual anchor”
My identity shifted when I got into recovery. That’s who I am now. It actually gives me greater pleasure to have that identity than to be a musician or anything else. Because it keeps me in a manageable size. When I’m down on the ground with my disease — which I’m happy to have — it gets me in tune. It gives me a spiritual anchor. Don’t ask me to explain.
“Plucked from the jaws of hell”
The mystery is, why haven’t I died? I’ve certainly walked through a lot of fire. By rights I should have kicked the bucket a long time ago. For some reason I was plucked from the jaws of hell and given another chance.
“My experience now tells me”
I thought that if I stopped drinking and I stopped using drugs…I would not be able to play anymore. But my experience now tells me in a long time of being in recovery that I can be a good musician with or without that…I wouldn’t be here today-I’d probably be dead-if I hadn’t gotten straight.
“It’s brought me to where I am”
I don’t know that I can honestly regret any of it safely, because it’s brought me to where I am. My life would not be the same. And I would not have what I have today, were [it not] for the fact that I went through all this stuff.
“The family I always wanted”
The home life has a lot of power for me now, and it’s where I get most of my satisfaction…I finally found the family I always wanted and always needed. And now here they are and I’m one of them. My life is completely full.
